Monday, January 08, 2007

innocence again

as i posted before, i moved over to mac. after several days of complete confusion and disorientation, i think i've found my grounding. i heart macs. i know, i crossed over to the dark side. one thing that has proven true in my evolution to greater computing sophistication is that mac does, indeed, have better software. i'm not just talking aesthetics, but mac developers have a keen sense of ergonomics in mind. building on a rock solid os like OS X helps too. [disclaimer: winxp is pretty darn solid. i've never gotten a virus the five years i've used it. i'm just saying that os x just feels more solid.]

what does this have to do with the title of this post, b? well...it has to do with me migrating over to apple's mail.app, which i must say, kicks the pootang off thunderbird. though i am still faithful to my gmail.

OKAY. so. the point. been backing up my gmail to my computer locally, and i started reading emails from two years ago (two years is a long time in internet time). just reading the content made me so keenly aware of the changes of the past year.

people say that post-college life is hard -- particularly in the aspect of having a convenient community of friends and relationships to dip into. but i think most stunning change has been a deep awareness of the loss of innocence..the childlike faith and belief in ideals. life just SEEMED easier two years ago (i don't know if it really was). joy seemed easier to choose two years ago, even one year ago. joy is a conscious choice in this one-year-old post-college life.

i can see why age mellows people out.

i joke sometimes that once you hit twenty-two...your life is downhill from there. left to inertia -- your life will exactly do that. but i have to believe in the midst of my increasing jadedness and callousness that life doesn't have to be downhill, but a slow and steady ascent. further up and further in they say.

its been eight days into the new year - here's to a year where God's kingdom breaks deeper into our lives and we rediscover the childlike rhythms of easy joy.