Tuesday, October 12, 2004

The unoriginal parade continues...

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to be sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one—not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safely in the casket or the coffin of your selfishness. But, in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, unredeemable. The only place outside heaven where you can be safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is hell.”
C.S. Lewis


EDIT: Perhaps some original content.

Who reads this thing still? This thing slowly becomes less interesting as I get older. I think its because I used to use my blog as my personal sounding board, where I could unreservedly just think out loud. It feels like things have changed, I guess I used to write to a predictable audience...I had a good idea who was reading my blog, and I didn't have to worry about qualifying the things that I said or wrote.

Now that this has been posted on xanga, livejournal, blogger, profiles, email signatures, word of mouth...I have no idea who reads this. Ideally it would be just a small subset of people, which I'm considering...kind of like "official update on how Benson is surviving senior year." I dunno, they'd have to read pointless drivel like this though. :)

Doh, now I forgot what I was going to say.

Ah, I remember.

On the upside, I believe I have secured a job with Cal-IT^2 doing wireless software development. Which, I think, is pretty cool. Which, I think, makes God pretty cool :).

The twist in the current situation is that I also interviewed for another job that seems to fit my skillset pretty well with the Giesel IT Department. They're into the whole XML/XMSLT infoportal deal and given my interest in web development, it seems to be the wiser choice.

Though I am getting ahead of myself...I haven't been hired yet, but I felt like I rocked the interview pretty hard. *wham* Yup, that hard. Haha, I don't know...this is a predicament I don't want to be in...I'd much rather have one opportunity and have the other shut the door. Choices suck sometimes, but leaders have to learn to make hard choices.

I suck at weighing pros and cons. They all weigh the same sometimes.

Some quotes that stuck out from the "Polar Express" movie trailer:

"One thing about trains; it doesn't matter where they are going. What matters is deciding to get on."

"Sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see."

Both quotes I agree with. A lot of times I'm asking God for wisdom on decisions...but in his grace and wisdom, He knows that I need to learn how to make decisions on my own as well, so He says "Just pick one, I'll be with you."

Jerk :)

The second has been really true in my life lately. This idea of fixing our eyes on what is unseen, living by faith, living for what is eternal...I dunno, I'm starting to see what Paul meant when he said we would be the greatest fools in the world if Christ didn't rise from the dead. I mean, yeah we live a "moral" life and we do good deeds, that's nice and all...but I'm talking about a life lived in faith...see that's what this world does not understand and cannot grasp. Absolutely everything in the natural realm is saying one thing, but in your spirit...you believe it, and when you pray about it, it grows...and slowly you begin to see it.

It's absolutely insane I tell you.

But as Michael Koh says..."May I suggest to you that..." that unseen world is so much more real and tangible than we realize? I believe there is a reason why Hebrews says that without faith it is impossible to please God. I think most of the time I'm whining to God is because I'm going off my five senses and He's going like...check your spirit dawg. Haha...what is unseen!

Anyway, perhaps more next time...

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